He is known to solve arguments instantaneously, inevitably and inexorably annihilating any opposition in his way and then melting their face when they are screaming on the floor, crying in excruciating pain. No-one quite knows how he does this since he lives in the melting hot sun of the desert. His only known trait is that he is super cool, I mean not just cool, not just super cool but sub zeroly absolute zeroly cool. It also provides possible protection from any science experiment related spillages.Ĭactus Man is a cactus with an attitude. The sunglasses enable him to stay cool and look cool in the melting sun of the desert. For example, one would not find sunglasses and a banjo on a normal cactus located in some desert somewhere, no matter how hard you looked. He has saved our island from starvation and destruction numerous times, and we owe him our lives”Įvidence on the subject is not 121% clear, but many scientist are researching this island, and looking into more exploration attempts at finding the island, and the god like creature - Cactus Manĭespite his cactus-like appearance, Cactus Man has several defining features that make him stand up against other cacti. “All hail Cactus Man, mighty Banjo playing Cactus Man. The messages were vague and took seconds of transmalation, but here is what was definitely NOT made up: This was written about in ancient scrolls delivered to us by small pigeons. Legend has it that on an island known as Wanahackalugi, there is a great statue depicting a god like figure, showing none other than Cactus Man. This is known from many lessons in which the creators of Cactus man attend - technology for instance. Appearing around and near Cactus man drawings are inscriptions of peoples' comments of Cactus man, some of which are unpleasant. Some sad and stupid people called "School Cleaners" try to rub/sand paper Cactus Man off of the desk, but Cactus Man will live on, as he is currently being drawn on 5 other tables. Here Is Cactus Drawn Hastily On A Saturday MorningĬactus Man began when two pupils of the school were bored in Science lessons and so came up with idea of drawing on the wooden surfaces of these tables. Defining Features - Sunbrerro, Banjo, Sunglasses, Cool and Calculating Mouth, No nose.Immensosity - Immense factor 1 trillion. No-one, including you, knows his true height/weight/centre of gravity/depth/density/tensile strength/depth of pocket: It can range from drawing to drawing. Dimensions - Metaphorically, Beyond Human Understanding.Cactus Man is a contradomfiddlediddledment of from the word Cactus (meaning a spiky shrub often found in desert and semi-deserts) and the word Man (meaning the human that is not a woman).
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